heart beat
by rumiberri
Summary: the pain never really did fade away-she just made it seem like it did. [AU][One-Shot][No Magic][Happy Valentine's]


**T**he leaves are starting to fall when her parents approach her and tell her that they're thinking about transferring her over to another city.

There's a well known heart specialist there and the queue for heart transplants is faster since it's not as populated as Tokyo. The change of scenery and fresher air will be better for her as well.

She smiles and agrees easily; she has no friends here and no attachments whatsoever and asks them what their new home is called.

Mitakihara.

The name rolls off her tongue and she nods.

It sounds like a good city to move to.

/

Just as promised, the air is fresh and crisp and a new city does in fact help her; she feels healthier and more alive than she has in a long while.

A week passes after she settles in and she's informed that there's already a new heart waiting for her.

She has two hours to decide—and somehow she agrees to accept it.

It's also the last present she'll ever receive from her parents as well.

\

The seasons are already changing and a permanent chill settles into the hospital as she recovers from her successful operation. The days pass with bitter pills and constant observations and in a month, it'll be Christmas.

Her birthday.

But she pushes that out of her mind and instead concentrates on walking. Her legs are weak from disuse and she's already out of breath just from moving from her room to the hallway.

But it feels nice to do something and she resolves to make the effort to walk somewhere at least once a day.

The distance slowly grows and by the time snow blankets the city, she's able to walk over to the next ward over where the waiting room resides.

It's the first time in a long while for her to see people that aren't patients or nurses or doctors and she stares in wonder at the variety of individuals inside.

She notices a girl her age dressed in a school uniform, pink bubblegum colored hair standing out amongst the white walls and she wonders if she's waiting for a friend.

A small stab of jealousy—but it disappears as the fatigue from walking this far hits her hard and she turns around to shuffle back to her room.

She gets a fever later that night and the world around her disappears for two weeks as she sleeps.

When she finally wakes up again, Christmas is over, her birthday is gone and the new year has already begun.

And the girl has merely become a faded memory.

/

This time she has everything prepared: blanket draped over her shoulders and novel in hand.

It's two weeks before the start of February and she's heading over to the waiting room to sit and read.

A change of scenery—the words bring a small jolt of pain to her heart—but it passes and she continues her shuffle down the hall.

She knows she really shouldn't be here.

There are other people that are sick and they pose a risk to her still recovering body.

But she shoves her doctor's warnings aside as she enters the room.

Like before, it's full of people waiting for their medicine or waiting for _things_ and as her eyes scan the room, she notices a familiar shade of pink.

She tilts her head slightly, curious, before shaking out of her stupor and heading for one of the empty seats in the room.

She makes sure to keep her eyes on the floor as she passes in front of that girl on her way there.

\

The day to day walk that she has once again started always makes her feel better and everyday she finds herself in the waiting room, novel in hand but eyes watching the other occupants in the room.

More than often her gaze is drawn to the one girl and it takes her two weeks to notice a pattern to her visits.

The girl is only there two, maybe three times a week, usually on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday and she's there waiting as another girl—her friend?— visits someone at the hospital.

Jealousy bubbles in her heart once more as she wishes someone would visit her.

It's the start of February when she settles into her usual seat and when she glances over to the usual spot the girl sits at, she can't help but feel the wave of disappointment when she notices she's not there.

"Excuse me?"

The voice startles her and she jumps slightly as she turns.

"May I sit here?"

She stares as the girl she has been watching gives her a friendly smile. The smile slowly drops as she takes too long to reply.

"Is that a no?" and she quickly shakes her head.

"N-No, t-that's...y-you...i-it's fine," she barely manages to squeak out and the smile presents itself once more.

"Thank you." With a sweep under her skirt, the girl settles into the seat besides her. Another smile merely makes her face flush and she quickly turns to her novel.

She doesn't read a single word that day and is entirely aware of the girl sitting next to her.

/

It doesn't take that long until the girl finally turns to her and starts talking. She's friendly—almost naively so, and she learns that her name is Kaname Madoka, that she has a younger brother named Tatsuya and that her parents are named Junko and Tomohisa. She tells her about her friend, Miki Sayaka, that is here to visit another friend, Kamijou Kyousuke, that was recently in a car accident and she can feel the kindness in her words as she worries about his well-being.

In turn, Madoka asks her questions and she stammers out her replies as best as she can.

Her name is Akemi Homura, she is in the hospital recovering from a heart transplant. Her parents... she falters here and Madoka quickly swoops in with an apologetic smile and steers the conversation to different things.

Just as sudden, her friend arrives to pick her up and she flinches as the taller girl stares down at her in evaluation.

"Let's go, Madoka."

"Sure, Sayaka-chan."

Madoka gives her a smile as she stands. "I'll see you soon, Homura-chan."

Only her parents had ever called her by her first name and though it had hurt the first time she had heard it, it just fills her heart with warmth now and she gives Madoka a shy smile.

"S-See you, Kaname-san."

\

It's routine now for her to go the waiting room and for Madoka to sit next to her.

They talk about nothing and everything and she wonders if this is how it's like to have a friend.

She likes it.

Two weeks after meeting Madoka, she falls sick again and she's curled up in her bed even though it's a Friday and Madoka is waiting for her.

She coughs lightly and pulls the blankets closer before settling into a feverish sleep.

She's aware of the door to her room opening, too used to visits from nurses and doctors and pays it no mind.

"Homura-chan?" a soft voice cuts through her haze and she turns around. Without her glasses, the figure by her bed is blurry and she squints as she tries to focus.

She sees pink—which reminds her of Madoka—but she has never told her her room number and Madoka has no reason to visit her so it must be a figment of her imagination.

Hallucinations from her sickness.

She closes her eyes once more and the dream Madoka is almost so real that she can feel a gentle hand placed on her forehead. It's cool to the touch and feels nice and she sighs as she tries to fall back asleep.

When she wakes the next morning after her fever breaks, there's a small box of chocolate besides her glasses with a small card that reads 'Happy Valentine's day, Homura-chan' and it's from Madoka.

She blinks and stares.

/

She gets better and the days pass.

When White day arrives, she apologizes to Madoka and tells her she has nothing to give her in return for those chocolates on Valentine's.

Madoka merely smiles at her and tells her that her getting better is good enough.

Her health is progressing—minus the random fevers—and the medicine is working properly.

The doctors tell her that maybe she'll be able to leave in a couple of months.

Her heart still hurts and there's moments like these, when Homura is reminded that her parents aren't here anymore and that she has no one but herself to rely on.

She has relatives in Tokyo and maybe Osaka (she's not sure) and she finds out from the doctors that none of them want to take her in. Arrangements are made and since her condition needs to be monitored, when she's discharged she won't need to stay in an institution though a social worker will be in charge of her until she is old enough to take care of herself.

She has inheritance money from her parents at least and since she'll be staying in Mitakihara, she finds out that she'll be transferring into Madoka's school.

She tells Madoka this and blushes when the girl grins and hugs her hard.

"Really, Homura-chan? I can't wait!"

She smiles and thinks the exact same thing.

\

Soon, she's healthy enough that the walk to the waiting room no longer leaves her out of breath.

Even Madoka's friend, Sayaka, tells her that she seems healthier these days.

"I'm always afraid I'm gonna look at you wrong and you'll fall over," Sayaka jokes and Homura always blushes as Madoka scolds her friend in her place.

"How much longer until you're out of the hospital, Homura-chan?"

"One more month," she replies with a smile.

She's afraid, really, of what will happen once she leaves this place but she's also excited.

One month until she'll be able to see Madoka almost everyday.

/

The day she leaves the hospital is a Tuesday and she's surprised when Madoka shows up without her asking.

"Ehehe," Madoka laughs and she feels that warmth in her heart build.

On the way to her apartment, they run into a stray cat that Madoka calls Amy and is surprised when it takes an immediate liking to her.

With encouragement from Madoka, she decides to take Amy home; they are both alone so it's makes sense for the two of them to stick together.

\

School winds up being an endless cascade of disappointments and when she's worn out from doing warm ups in PE, she can only lament on her shortcomings as she sits off to the side.

A towel is suddenly draped over her head and she glances up to see a familiar face smiling at her.

"It's okay, Homura-chan. I'm pretty bad at sports too."

She feels bad when Madoka sits out the rest of PE with her—though she doesn't entirely mind that she does.

/

It's the first test she has taken since coming back to school and she stares at all the red marks in disappointment.

She's missed so much material that she doesn't think she'll ever be able to catch up—she's sure they only allowed her into 2nd year due to her unusual circumstances.

"Homura-chan," a voice has her quickly covering her test with her arms and she turns to Madoka.

"K-Kaname-san..."

"How did you do?" Madoka asks and immediately notices the way her face falls. "Ehehe, you too, huh?" she tells her and holds up her own test paper riddled with red.

"Ah..." Madoka only scored a little higher than her and suddenly she doesn't feel so bad.

The other girl grins and leans closer. "Sayaka-chan's score is worse than mine."

She can't help but laugh at that.

"Do you want to come over and study?"

She blinks though her brows furrow.

"Ehehe," Madoka laughs again and holds up a green notebook. "Don't worry, I borrowed Hitomi-chan's notes. You can sleep over too—and bring Amy along! I'm still jealous she followed you home after she turned me down!"

She smiles and nods.

"S-Sure, Kaname-san. Thank you."

\

Her grades slowly improve and though she still needs to take medicine and go to the nurse's room during breaks, she no longer collapses during warm-ups and can at least participate in a third of the activities during PE.

Summer vacation arrives and she spends most of her time over at Madoka's where the AC actually works because her apartment is too old and the manager refuses to fix it even though it's in the contract.

She doesn't mind though, because it lets her stay over at the Kanames and she can pretend that she belongs somewhere for once.

They struggle to finish their homework and suddenly it's back to school and she's back to her still stuffy apartment.

Madoka still invites her over though but once the weather starts cooling, she finds herself declining the offer more often as her excuse to stay over slowly disappears as the leaves start changing.

Madoka is disappointed—but doesn't want to push her away and lets her slink back to the empty apartment.

/

The change of seasons reminds her of her parents and as the leaves start falling once more she smiles less and laughs even less.

Madoka immediately notices and Sayaka tries her best to get her to smile.

But when she does, it's the wrong kind and she finds her heart hurting more and more as the month's end draws near.

On the day of Madoka's birthday party, she sets an appointment to see the doctor and misses the celebration.

Her medicine is switched out for a different one and she apologizes to Madoka for not being there.

The pain fades but her heart still hurts and she misses a week of school and sleeps in her bed so that the memories can fade away.

She wakes up disoriented and dizzy and Amy is pawing at her, demanding her to stop that noise in the background.

She fumbles around for her glasses and slips them in place before rising from the bed.

Her legs feel like jelly and her body is light; she hasn't eaten much during her absence and really only woke up to feed and care for Amy.

*ding dong*

Ah, that must be what had been bothering Amy.

She stumbles and knocks into the wall as she tries to regain her bearings. Her glasses are askew and she wipes at her eyes to clear the cobwebs.

*ding dong*

"Right..." she mumbles to herself and somehow makes it across the living room to the front door.

She tiptoes and closes one eye to peer into the peep hole—and is greeted by a familiar shade of pink.

"K-Kaname-san...?"

*ding dong*

"Ah..."

She quickly unlocks the door and pulls it open.

Before she can greet her, Madoka is throwing her arms around her and sobbing in relief.

"Homura-chan! I was so worried about you!"

"K-Kaname-san?"

/

Madoka follows her to the cemetery when she goes to meet her parents.

She had missed the funeral while recovering and as she stares at the tombstone that has their names chiseled across, she can't help but sob as the pain in her heart throbs once more.

Madoka holds her close and she sleeps over again that night.

She doesn't notice that Madoka has a duffel of her things in her room but she does notice when Junko tells her she's no longer allowed back into her own apartment.

Amy meows almost in agreement and purrs when Madoka scratches her chin.

"Welcome home, Homura-chan."

She can't help it, the tears pool in her eyes and she's sobbing once more.

\

Winter hits Mitakihara and the snow chills her to her bones. She bundles up in the extra warm jacket that Junko has bought her as an early Christmas present and follows the Kanames as they head to the park to play in the snow.

She's never really had a chance to do something like this and at the end of the day her hands are freezing, her nose is red and her face is flushed from the cold.

It's enough to distract from the pain in her heart and she laughs and smiles and then cries when they surprise her with a birthday cake and a birthday song that's a bit off-key and maybe too high pitched.

"Thank you," she can only say and Madoka has to help her blow out the candles because she's crying too much.

/

New year at the temple and Madoka introduces her to an older girl—Tomoe Mami—someone that she had befriended randomly, much like what had happened to her and Madoka.

Madoka gushes about her skills in cooking and the blonde flushes with joy at the words of praise and invites both of them over for snacks the next day.

Madoka agrees and though she's still shy with people she doesn't really know, she nods and Mami smiles.

"Can I invite Sayaka-chan as well, Mami-san?" Madoka asks and the smile on Mami's face grows wider.

"Of course. Any friends of yours are welcome, Kaname-san."

She thinks that Mami seems nice and wonders just how delicious her cooking really is.

\

Towards the end of January, she's sick again though this time it's only a cold and it only knocks her down for a week.

She still has a lingering cough but Mami recommends a soothing herbal tea and she's soon back to her normal self.

On the first day of February, she somehow manages to lie to Madoka and for once is by herself as she heads over to Mami's place.

When the blonde opens the door, she's pleasantly surprised to find the shy girl standing in front of her apartment.

"Good afternoon, Akemi-san."

"T-Tomoe-san!" she bows low. "P-Please teach me how to cook!"

She burns the first three batches and has to buy two more bags of chocolate before Mami is satisfied with her results and her eyes are shining and her face is smiling as she proudly looks at her creation.

"Thank you, Tomoe-san!"

Mami smiles at her. "I only helped you a little, Akemi-san. I hope whoever receives your gift will accept your feelings."

She blushes and ducks her head.

"I-It's not like that."

At least, she didn't think it was...

\

It's the day of and she can't stop how her heart pounds in her chest as she thinks to the package she has in her bag.

She had baked cookies with Madoka the previous day and she hands out small packages to Sayaka, Hitomi, Mami, Saotome-sensei and to the nurse that has helped her out more than once.

Her batches are plain chocolate chip and she can't help but glance at Madoka who has a bigger pile of treats to pass around—she doesn't really mind though, Madoka is friendly with everyone while she still stutters even around the girl she has almost known for a year.

To her surprise, Madoka approaches her with a smile and presents her with a small box that is different than the gifts she gave everyone else.

It reminds her of the one she received last year and Madoka grins.

"I made it the other day when you had your doctor's appointment. Had to finish before you came back! Happy Valentine's day, Homura-chan!"

And she looks at the package and then to her bag. "A-Ah—"

"Madoka!" Sayaka calls the other girl over from across the room and the words die in her mouth.

She glances down at her bag and then to the box that Madoka has given her and frowns.

/

They're in the middle of English when a note is passed and Madoka glances up in confusion before accepting the small slip of paper.

'Please meet me behind the gym once English ends.'

Madoka looks around and Sayaka waggles her eyebrows at her with a grin.

The smaller girl blushes but smiles at the note and the neat writing on the paper.

\

As soon as the bell chimes, she exits the classroom at record speed (at least for her) and though she's out of breath and feeling slightly dizzy when she reaches her destination, she grips the box closer and tries to calm her frantic heart beat.

Her eyes are closed and she's trying to remember the words she has rehearsed when a voice calls out to her.

"Homura-chan?"

She whirls around and Madoka is looking at her with a puzzled expression.

"K-Kaname-san!" she quickly hides the box behind her though the smile on Madoka's face shows that she has already seen it.

"The note was from you, Homura-chan?"

She nods and blushes before averting her eyes. "U-Uhm!" She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before exhaling. "K-Kaname-san!"

"Y-Yes, Homura-chan?"

Opening her eyes, she faces her straight on. "I-I just wanted to thank you for being my f-friend. Y-You've helped me so much this year—and I know it's not much, b-but please accept this as a token of my gratitude!" She holds out the box and ducks her head.

"A-Ah..."

Her pulse increases and she can feel her heart drop as nothing happens.

Fearing the worse, she cracks an eye open and Madoka is staring at her almost in amusement.

"Homura-chan..." there's a smile on her face and she reaches for the box but sighs when she takes it.

"K-Kaname-san?" she straightens up as she notices how disappointed the other girl looks.

Suddenly Madoka grins at her. "I guess it's okay if I take charge since we're both girls."

"U-Uhm?"

Madoka slowly closes the gap in between them until she can feel the breath of the other girl on her face.

"K-Kaname-san?"

Madoka's eyes are lidded as she leans closer. "I was—really happy to see that you were the one that left the note, Homura-chan," her voice is a soft whisper and she freezes in confusion.

"U-Uhm..K-Kana—"

"But," here Madoka laughs softly as pink eyes flicker to lavender before darting back to her lips. "I was expecting a confession—not a 'token of gratitude.' Something..." she moves in closer, "...like this."

And there's a soft weight as something presses against her lips and her eyes widen in surprise. Madoka's eyes are closed and she feels arms wrap against her waist, bringing them closer.

When they finally pull apart, they're breathless and Madoka grins up at her.

"Homura-chan...?"

"Y-Y-Y-Yes?" she squeaks out.

"Will you accept my feelings...?"

She's lightheaded and all she can remember is the feeling of _soft_ and in a rare act of bravery, she merely leans forward, eyes closing once she makes sure she's not going to miss and captures Madoka's lips with her own.

Madoka smiles and once they pull apart again she's looking at her expectantly.

"Is that a yes?"

She nods frantically and Madoka grins.

"You know, they say for White day you're supposed to return a gift that's worth three times as much as the original..."

She gulps nervously and Madoka laces their fingers together, keeping a tight hold on her gift and tugs her along.

"Let's head back."

/

When they arrive with their hands still intertwined, Sayaka gives a knowing wink and she blushes to the tip of her ears while Madoka looks almost prou**d.**

**—**

**AN: **Very random one-shot that I somehow managed to write ! Their story makes me sad so here's some fluff :(((


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